Here is the Washington Post’s Mensa Invitational, which once againasked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it byadding, subtracting, or changing one letter and supply a newdefinition.
The winners are:
1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying (or building) a house, whichrenders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period oftime.
2. Ignoranus : A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
3 Intaxication : Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts untilyou realize that it was your money to start with.
4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stopsbright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, showslittle sign of breaking down in the near future.
6. Foreploy : Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purposeof getting laid.
7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
8. Sarchasm : The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and theperson who doesn't get it.
9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
10. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
11. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease.
12. Karmageddon: It’s when everybody is sending off all thesereally bad vibes, and then the Earth explodes and it's a seriousbummer.
13. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the dayconsuming only things that are good for you.
14. Glibido: All talk and no action.
15. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarterwhen they come at you rapidly.
16. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just afteryou've accidentally walkedthrough a spider web.
17. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets intoyour bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
18. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a wormin the fruit you're eating.
The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to itsyearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternatemeanings for common words.
And the winners are:
1. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted , adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight onehas gained.
3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade , v To attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-Nilly, adj. Impotent.
6. Negligent , adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearingonly a nightgown.
7. Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle , n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence , n Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who hasbeen run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash , n. A rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude , n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster , n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soulflies up onto the roof andgets stuck there.
16. Circumvent , n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn byJewish men.(PS: If any reader has an interesting word, please share it here on my blog. Obrigado!)
The winners are:
1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying (or building) a house, whichrenders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period oftime.
2. Ignoranus : A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
3 Intaxication : Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts untilyou realize that it was your money to start with.
4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stopsbright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, showslittle sign of breaking down in the near future.
6. Foreploy : Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purposeof getting laid.
7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
8. Sarchasm : The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and theperson who doesn't get it.
9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
10. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
11. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease.
12. Karmageddon: It’s when everybody is sending off all thesereally bad vibes, and then the Earth explodes and it's a seriousbummer.
13. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the dayconsuming only things that are good for you.
14. Glibido: All talk and no action.
15. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarterwhen they come at you rapidly.
16. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just afteryou've accidentally walkedthrough a spider web.
17. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets intoyour bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
18. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a wormin the fruit you're eating.
The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to itsyearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternatemeanings for common words.
And the winners are:
1. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted , adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight onehas gained.
3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade , v To attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-Nilly, adj. Impotent.
6. Negligent , adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearingonly a nightgown.
7. Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle , n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence , n Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who hasbeen run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash , n. A rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude , n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster , n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soulflies up onto the roof andgets stuck there.
16. Circumvent , n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn byJewish men.(PS: If any reader has an interesting word, please share it here on my blog. Obrigado!)
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