It was a long New Year’s eve night. Sara had lost her mind. Till a little while back she had been looking for it, but couldn’t find it. It was hard because the whole place was crowded, sticky with spilt alcohol mixed with cola and food that drunk people kept dropping.
When she was about to look inside the oven, someone shouted out: In ten minutes the countdown will start. Everyone put on your hats, please.
Sara had to hurry. So she put on her paper-cone hat and looked in the corners of the oven, just in case somebody left her mind there. But it wasn’t there.
One Army officer with a tall glass of pink drink that had a small umbrella on it came to Sara and said, “I am drinking a woman’s drink. I am for equality. All the other women are drinking rum-cola…that is why. What are you looking for anyway?” Mind-less, Sara had to try real hard to understand the officer. He was slurring a bit and his words came out with a respectable sounding lisp. “I have lost my mind, isn’t it obvious? Nobody looks in the oven for keys or a Ferrari,” she shot back, irritated in a cute sort of way. She was a fairly pretty girl, especially when she smiled and her canines showed. The officer fancied her so he considered some jokes he wanted to make to draw her out. They were:
1. You are looking for your mind? Women have a mind?
But he did not crack this one because he was a sexist and did not want to sound like one. Not on New Year’s eve. He wanted Sara to think highly of him.
2. Just wait for the New Year. After that you’ll find a brand new mind.
He didn’t make this joke because it sounded too corny. Especially on New Year’s eve. The ‘brand new’ angle was too beaten down.
3. Try the washing machine. If it’s on you’ll have a clean mind
He didn’t make this one either, though he seriously considered it. It sounded a little too frivolous because Sara had not lost a diamond. She had lost her MIND – the thing that makes diamonds a girl’s best friend.
4. What did your mind look like? Was it medium built and dark? In that case, I saw one in the nun’s pocket. Might be yours.
He almost made this joke, but just managed to restrain himself. It had a religious twist to it. Sara was a good Christian and might have not liked the church being dragged into a matter as small as a lost mind.
5. Why bother? You can always take some of mine.
Though it sounded playful and generous, he crossed out this joke as well because he wasn’t sure if he would have any mind to give if she agreed to take some. Hardly anything was left of his mind since he got a divorce during the monsoon. He had been getting by with half a mind since then.
6. Why don’t you dance with me? Seeing us moving to the beat, I am sure your mind will join us.
This joke, even before he could consider it left him and was out in the open before Sara. She smiled when she heard it. It wasn’t really funny but it was the kind that worked even on people who didn’t have a mind. Sara quit searching and said, “What the hell, you might be right. I don’t want a mind now. I want to dance. Thanks”
And, as they hit the dance floor, the countdown began and the old year turned into a new one.
Since I haven’t heard from Sara yet, I am not sure if she has found her mind. I’ll write her an email today and advise her to look under the carpet. That’s where most things are these days.
When she was about to look inside the oven, someone shouted out: In ten minutes the countdown will start. Everyone put on your hats, please.
Sara had to hurry. So she put on her paper-cone hat and looked in the corners of the oven, just in case somebody left her mind there. But it wasn’t there.
One Army officer with a tall glass of pink drink that had a small umbrella on it came to Sara and said, “I am drinking a woman’s drink. I am for equality. All the other women are drinking rum-cola…that is why. What are you looking for anyway?” Mind-less, Sara had to try real hard to understand the officer. He was slurring a bit and his words came out with a respectable sounding lisp. “I have lost my mind, isn’t it obvious? Nobody looks in the oven for keys or a Ferrari,” she shot back, irritated in a cute sort of way. She was a fairly pretty girl, especially when she smiled and her canines showed. The officer fancied her so he considered some jokes he wanted to make to draw her out. They were:
1. You are looking for your mind? Women have a mind?
But he did not crack this one because he was a sexist and did not want to sound like one. Not on New Year’s eve. He wanted Sara to think highly of him.
2. Just wait for the New Year. After that you’ll find a brand new mind.
He didn’t make this joke because it sounded too corny. Especially on New Year’s eve. The ‘brand new’ angle was too beaten down.
3. Try the washing machine. If it’s on you’ll have a clean mind
He didn’t make this one either, though he seriously considered it. It sounded a little too frivolous because Sara had not lost a diamond. She had lost her MIND – the thing that makes diamonds a girl’s best friend.
4. What did your mind look like? Was it medium built and dark? In that case, I saw one in the nun’s pocket. Might be yours.
He almost made this joke, but just managed to restrain himself. It had a religious twist to it. Sara was a good Christian and might have not liked the church being dragged into a matter as small as a lost mind.
5. Why bother? You can always take some of mine.
Though it sounded playful and generous, he crossed out this joke as well because he wasn’t sure if he would have any mind to give if she agreed to take some. Hardly anything was left of his mind since he got a divorce during the monsoon. He had been getting by with half a mind since then.
6. Why don’t you dance with me? Seeing us moving to the beat, I am sure your mind will join us.
This joke, even before he could consider it left him and was out in the open before Sara. She smiled when she heard it. It wasn’t really funny but it was the kind that worked even on people who didn’t have a mind. Sara quit searching and said, “What the hell, you might be right. I don’t want a mind now. I want to dance. Thanks”
And, as they hit the dance floor, the countdown began and the old year turned into a new one.
Since I haven’t heard from Sara yet, I am not sure if she has found her mind. I’ll write her an email today and advise her to look under the carpet. That’s where most things are these days.
1 comment:
respect!
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